Friday, December 18, 2009

Two Husbands In The House

Many women -because of feminism- don’t obey their husbands, which is sinful.

Some practicing sisters - they are not realizing that they should obey their husbands. Allah’s Messenger said [meaning]; “If I were to command anyone to prostrate before anyone, I would have commanded the wife to prostrate before her husband, because of the enormity of his right upon her.” [Hasan Sahih Al-Albani]
«لو كنت آمرا أحدا أن يسجد لأحد ؛ لأمرت المرأة أن تسجد لزوجها» حسن صحيح الألباني


There are so many other ahadeeth on the rights of the husband from the wife.

A [non muslim] Noble Prize winner said; The Economical and Social crisis within the western world is due to the both husbands not playing the role they should play.

Meaning: the husband should provide for the family, and the woman should help the husband in the home to raise the children and the household.

He said; the husband should play his major role, and the wife should play her major role in the house and provide for the children…etc. Once each party plays their role, a complimentary relationship will form. The husband is the provider for the house, and the wife uses this provision to grow the fruits (i.e. children).

A Wife as a Companion

It is the nature of the man; when he comes back home from work, he is tired and frustrated – and he wants to see his wife looking at him, smiling and caring for him and giving him attention. If he comes home from work and sees his wife on the phone, or the internet, or her attention isn’t on him in a good way – he will feel frustrated. He will feel that his wife is not for him, and due to this, problems start. Even a small thing will become a major thing because he will be ready to argue due to his previous frustration.

Sometimes women might think they’ve done nothing wrong, not knowing the root of the problem. Men have emotional needs, and these are fulfilled when we see our wives next to us and on our side, and this is what brings his happiness.

By not obeying the husband, he feels that she is an opposition to him, someone who wants to rebel instead of being a partner in support.

Who has more control in the home? The traditional answer would be that the husband has control of more things within the home. Whereas in reality; women have more control of the house issues. They just don’t know it.

How? Men by nature – they don’t want to displease their wives. They don’t want wives to keep nagging. They want peace of mind in their houses. Because of this, he wants to do anything to keep her quiet, pleased…etc.

Advice to women; If you want anything from your husband, ask in a very emotionally pleasing way. You will never get anything from your husband if you act like a man with him.

Famous saying; The man is like a ring in the wife’s fingers, she can move him wherever she wants.

The woman cannot control her husband by lecturing/commanding or forcing him, he will hate her if she is like that. But just by a kiss, you can get whatever you want from your husband.

Their tears affect the man more than anything, instead of them shouting, they can just cry in a humble way and that will melt the husband’s heart and be more effective in putting her message across to the husband.

Unfortunately, many women don’t like to exert this type of etiquette, and this is what usually leads to two husbands’ being in the house who are competing against each other - causing the marriage to break down.

Transcription of lecture [with additions & editions] “Why Marriages Fail” By, Haitham Haddad

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